Wednesday, March 30, 2011

I love to eat : hate to digest.

Nah, wait a second, let me amend that: I love to eat and I would also love to digest. I woo intestinal affections with gastronomical gifts, offering what most would surely delight in...would most would say yes, please! to. But they don't acquiesce. My insides. They don't even explain their disgruntlement; like women who play games, saying everything's ok....and then mutter, accuse, cold-shoulder, and expect you to know what you've done wrong. For the record: I am not one of those women.

But as a culture, don't we all exist within this paradox? -- loving to eat (please, do not equate eat with dine), while digestionally disarrayed (little wonder, considering the bread we break). Now consider: this estrangement relates not only to our intestines but also our intellects. We take. We eat. But, we don't digest enough of it to give anything back. We don't digest enough to even make good shit -- good rebuttals, arguments, conversation. It's worse than that....worse than shit. It's stuck.

Crass? Yes. But true: a good shit is satisfying. It's the completion of meals and eating and digestion and absorption; and finally, after rumination's rounds, expulsion of waste. Intellectually too, we need to digest. Sometimes, hard things. Some things will hurt a little going down. Some will hurt a lot. Some may give our thoughts gas. And some will anger to the point of needing ventilation.

When I was a kid, sifting through scat was like a microcosmic archeological dig (Ok, yeah, disregard the when I was a kid thing...I still do this). What was eaten? (Mouse skeleton in fox scat...good meal!) In what season? (Fresh berry seeds in the mix?) More importantly though -- what was digested? You can tell how healthy a human or animal is by looking at what they leave behind. What goes in, must come out. You know what to expect. You know what it is. You know where it came from. There is no's shit.

Yet -- regarding the mindless consumption of bowels and brains alike, it doesn't matter which hole it goes into, or comes out of -- it's constipating.


  1. Okay Erin, I'm freaking out here! Kind of like 1967 when I first heard a girl say the F word. I think I lost my hearing after that one. Now I'm blind! I really like your train of thought, but my senses are disappearing...kind of like that S...sorry I just can't say it.

  2. Freaking in a good way? Ah, I just didn't think "poop" did the idea justice...

  3. Ha ha hahahahahahah ha ha hahahaha! Shitty shitty shit shit! Weeeeeeeeee! Look! You even freaked out Cofisher's profile pic! (how's going, Cofisher, btw!?)

    Erin, great post. I now will go home and digest it. Glad ya finally found a proper piece of shit on the trail. I thought I was going to have to sneek up the canyon and leave one of my the trail...out of the way, but not out of sight!

  4. Of course! Poetic poop talk from Erin! It's exactly what I'd expect from you. =)

    Well said, well crafted and well digested. And on so many levels. I swear, we must be genetically connected somewhere along the line as I totally relate to your musings.

    Or, a little fur in coyote scat. And maybe it's even white-ish poop. Traces of calcium from the eaten bones. Nature uses poop to disperse seeds, animals use it to mark territory and provide clues (poop cairns) and we fret about it in so many ways.

    This was good shit, Erin! I love this post.

  5. Melissa. Wow! High compliments there -- thank you so much! Hmmm...expectations of poop-posts from me. I like that! Yeah....we MUST be related somehow. :) Oh, and I love the "poop cairns" image. I'll always think of that now!

  6. Jay - I hope it set well? And thanks for the thoughts about helping me out with the pic. But no need to sneeeek up the canyon. Well, at least not for a poop pic!

  7. Well you know me I don't like any cursing of any kind so I prefer scat, poop, excrement,turd, fecal matter, BM, number 2, stool....Yes I am a tomboy and a scatological since childhood but when it comes to language always a lady ;-)
    By the way, next time I am in town Jay and Erin expect to see me with a bar of soap in hand. POW!

  8. SGB - You are the one who encouraged me to read Steinbeck when I was a kid...

  9. reminds me of this old skit.

  10. LOVE THIS ONE!!!! It's hilarious...and yet so true.